The news broke quietly, almost like the government hoped we wouldn’t notice until it was too late. Come December, Australians will need to verify their age to access adult content online. The eSafety Commissioner’s office frames it as protecting children, but scratch beneath the surface and you’ll find a privacy nightmare that would make George Orwell reach for his laptop.

Reading through the discussions online, it’s clear I’m not alone in feeling deeply uncomfortable about this entire scheme. The technical realities are stark - major sites like Pornhub have already started geo-blocking entire regions rather than deal with age verification requirements. They did it in Texas, they’ll do it here. We’re not special enough to warrant custom compliance systems.