There are shipping containers parked in front of The Emerson on Chapel Street now. Not temporarily. Not for a renovation. To stop people shooting through the front door.

That’s where we are.

I’ve been watching the discussion around this online, and the thing that strikes me isn’t the debate about whether shipping containers are actually bulletproof (they’re not, particularly, though apparently two walls of corrugated steel do mess with ballistics in useful ways). It’s not even the broader conversation about organised crime and illegal tobacco rackets bleeding into standover tactics against ordinary hospo venues. All of that is genuinely serious and worth its own column.

Been scrolling through some discussions online about thieves cutting fiber optic cables thinking they were going after copper, and honestly, it’s left me with a mix of amusement and genuine concern. The whole situation perfectly encapsulates something I’ve been thinking about lately – how desperation, lack of education, and the rising cost of living are creating these bizarre scenarios that would almost be funny if they weren’t so damaging.

The irony is almost too perfect. Here we have people so desperate for quick cash that they’re out in the middle of the night with wire cutters, targeting what they think is valuable copper cabling. Problem is, fiber optic cables contain… well, fiber optics. Glass strands thinner than human hair that carry light signals. No copper whatsoever. It’s like trying to milk a bicycle – the fundamental premise is completely wrong from the start.